Just the chance that
maybe we'll find better days.
What is a true friend? Often, i've struggled to understand. I still don't know, and i don't wish to know. I'm tired, really tired. I've tried my very best, what are there left to do? I don't want to waste my energy thinking about this, cos every effort i made seemed useless. Instead, i'm being laughed at. I feel like closing myself up and not talk to anyone, but i truly know its impossible.
I boarded a non-airconditioned bus yesterday night. Sitting by the window, letting the brezzy wind blowing towards you, looking at the night sky. It was brilliant. Fantastic. Beautiful. Closing my eyes, i truly enjoyed it. Then, i started thinking about life once again, but this time round, it was different. I wasn't thinking about my life i'm gonna spend next time, its the life i'm living now.
The life of me now, is that i don't have a single person to share someth with. Like of course, i do share with Sissy, but all of us have girlfriends don't we? I know what's happening inbetween, i just don't wish like mentioning them all. I want to blow up, but i'm still torelating. I'm starting not to trust everyone, i'm keeping all the things to myself. I just need someone beside me.
And that someone, is my true best friend.
But, who is that? I need someone by my side, whom i can confide in, whom i can trust and share things, who will be there to listen to me, who will not disappear from my life, who will not talk about me behing my back. In order to find that someone, you need to be a good friend first.
Sometimes i wonder if i'm a good friend?
My mind is blank, i feel like letting go of everyth, all of them out. Crying is the only way i can turn to, especially with the sourly feeling inside, your heart. The heart is a fragile thing, that's why we protect them so vigorously. But crying will only lead to misintepretation by others, so what for? I told myself, i shall not cry, and i cannot cry. I'm strong enough to face everyth.
"Rest assured, however, you will find a friend who will be there for you, and you will never truly be alone. Open your eyes to the people in your life and look for someone who you can depend on."
This, should i trust? I'm not very sure of myself, even now.
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