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Hi this is my little blackbook where i doodle my life. I am not like any other in nature, that's why i study in Venus, i play in the rain, and i eat gazillions of food. I live in my wonderland where everyone will be plugging in headphones and humming to their favourite music and walk down small allies with their loved ones under the moonlight. They will also have late Friday night heart-to-heart talks on rooftops with fireworks and small twinkly stars and also late night shoppings at 2am in the morning. And whenever someone feels down, Santa Claus will come around to give them a yellow happy smiley sticker.

I believe in fairytales where Prince Charming would carry me to a castle on the hill, cuz almost everyone has the smallest bit of hope, of faith, that one day they will open their eyes and the fairytale would come true. My fairytale is that my husband and girlfriends will be sitting on grasses having picnics, flying kites, taking long walks along the beach and they will do those sweet little things that makes me happy. I will also travel around and see the whole world with my best girlfriends. Most importantly, i'll be in Paris to enjoy the scenery and star gaze in the night lying on open fields filled with dandelion flowerets and sunflowers with my soulmate. ^^

But most of all, i want to live life nonchantly and ravishingly,
enjoying my days to the fullest, just like how butterflies do.

Pleazzzeeee tag by commenting at the end of blog posts!


Main blog @ here! ^.^

Wednesday, January 30, 2008




Just the chance that
maybe we'll find better days.


What is a true friend? Often, i've struggled to understand. I still don't know, and i don't wish to know. I'm tired, really tired. I've tried my very best, what are there left to do? I don't want to waste my energy thinking about this, cos every effort i made seemed useless. Instead, i'm being laughed at. I feel like closing myself up and not talk to anyone, but i truly know its impossible.

I boarded a non-airconditioned bus yesterday night. Sitting by the window, letting the brezzy wind blowing towards you, looking at the night sky. It was brilliant. Fantastic. Beautiful. Closing my eyes, i truly enjoyed it. Then, i started thinking about life once again, but this time round, it was different. I wasn't thinking about my life i'm gonna spend next time, its the life i'm living now.

The life of me now, is that i don't have a single person to share someth with. Like of course, i do share with Sissy, but all of us have girlfriends don't we? I know what's happening inbetween, i just don't wish like mentioning them all. I want to blow up, but i'm still torelating. I'm starting not to trust everyone, i'm keeping all the things to myself. I just need someone beside me.

And that someone, is my true best friend.

But, who is that? I need someone by my side, whom i can confide in, whom i can trust and share things, who will be there to listen to me, who will not disappear from my life, who will not talk about me behing my back. In order to find that someone, you need to be a good friend first.

Sometimes i wonder if i'm a good friend?

My mind is blank, i feel like letting go of everyth, all of them out. Crying is the only way i can turn to, especially with the sourly feeling inside, your heart. The heart is a fragile thing, that's why we protect them so vigorously. But crying will only lead to misintepretation by others, so what for? I told myself, i shall not cry, and i cannot cry. I'm strong enough to face everyth.



"Rest assured, however, you will find a friend who will be there for you, and you will never truly be alone. Open your eyes to the people in your life and look for someone who you can depend on."

This, should i trust? I'm not very sure of myself, even now.
Posted by Hweeling at 6:42 PM

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