15 Ways to confuse, worry,

or just scare the Bejeezus

out of people in the CompLab.





1. When your computer is turned off, complain to the monitor on duty that you can't get the damn thing to work. After he/she's turned it on, wait 5 minutes,turn it off again, & repeat the process for a good half hour.

2. Ask around for a spare disk. Offer $2. Keep asking until someone agrees.
Then, pull a disk out of your fly and say, "Oops, I forgot."

3. Work normally for a while. Suddenly look amazingly startled by
something on the screen and crawl underneath the desk.

4. Pull out a pencil. Start writing on the screen. Complain that the lead doesn't work.

5. Point at the screen. Chant in a made up language while making elaborate hand gestures for a minute or two. Press return or the mouse, then leap back and yell "COVEEEEERRRRRR!" peek up from under the table, walk back to the computer and say. "Oh, good. It worked this time," and calmly start to type again.

6. Make a loud noise of hitting the same key over and over again until you see that your neighbor is noticing (You can hit the space bar so your fill isn't affected). Then look at your neighbor's keyboard. Hit his/her delete key several times, erasing an entire word. While you do this, ask: "Does *your* delete key work?" Shake your head, and resume hitting the space bar on your keyboard. Keep doing this until you've deleted about a page of your neighbor's document. Then, suddenly exclaim: "Well, whaddya know? I've been hitting the space bar this whole time. No wonder it wasn't deleting! Ha!" Print out your document and leave.

7. Attempt to eat your computer's mouse.

8. Keep looking at invisible bugs and trying to swat them.

9. Take the keyboard and sit under the computer. Type up your paper like this.
Then go to the lab supervisor and complain about the bad working conditions.

10. Draw a pictue of a woman (or man) on a piece of paper, tape it to your monitor. Try to seduce it. Act like it hates you and then complain loudly that women (men) are worthless.

11. Every time you press Return and there is processing time required, pray "Ohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseohplease," and scream "YES!" when it finishes.

12. Borrow someone else's keyboard by reaching over, saying "Excuse me, mind if
I borrow this for a sec?", unplugging the keyboard & taking it.

13. Before anyone else is in the lab, connect each computer to different
screen than the one it's set up with.

14. Remove your disk from the drive and hide it. Go to the lab monitor and
complain that your computer ate your disk.

15. Type on VAX for a while. Suddenly start cursing for 3 minutes at everything
bad about your life. Then stop and continue typing.