Drifting
by Kit McCallum









I sometimes find I'm drifting
Through this life without effect;
I often wonder if I'm truly
Worth what I've been blessed.

I search through days that have been hard,
To try to understand,
The many trials that I have known,
The life that I have had.

You see me in my daily grind,
So confident and strong;
Yet when I am alone, I question
Just where I belong.

I often try too hard I find,
To analyze and guess,
To scrutinize, investigate
My life I will confess.

For somewhere deeper, there must be
Some meaning to this life,
Some way to make a difference,
Give a reason for this strife.

Is there some hidden meaning?
Some agenda to be found?
A greater purpose waiting
If I care to hang around?

It teases and it taunts me,
Always slightly out of sight;
A hazy vision out of reach,
Where darkness hides the light.

I struggle to bring clarity
To what awaits me there,
And yet this weak illusion
Always fades before my stare.

It seems the harder that I try,
To focus through the haze,
Just serves to add more questions,
Through my endless, tired gaze.

Perhaps I'm trying just too hard,
To understand it all,
For can we ever truly know
Just what we have in store?

Each incident, each moment passed,
Just adds upon the next,
But in the end, will I find truth...
Or will I be perplexed?

Perhaps I make it harder
Than it has to be sometimes,
But will my searching bring to me
My meaning over time?

Or will it leave me broken,
And confused as I feel now,
While questions bring no solitude,
To this, my wrinkled brow.


Its been very weird, thinking about stuffs of myself lately. People told me i've changed, i'm more into myself now, i don't share with people my thoughts/secrets, but seriously, i've found that true. Real true. Sorted myself out after talking to Kasey yesterday, thankyou so much love! =8) So well, i'm going to change, i'm going to talk more, i'm going to interact with everyone! =8)

So if i suddenly say hi to you, don't be surprised! =8) Anyway, i'm still searching for a small chickenZ soft toy! Anyway, Feb we are having some LangArts Lit test and i seriously don't know anyth. Crazy shitsxz. Teachers from Chinese CID Cluster is killing me cos they shout non-stop like mad womans. And they give us what fcking shit things to do as a leader but guess what.
I-DON'T-UNDERSTAND-A-SINGLE-SHIT-THING.

Argh, whatever. Today lesson's were still ok. I feel like naming someone out here cos she is bloody irritating, annoying and acts-as-if-she-don't-know-everyone-hates-here but well... she reads my blog so i shall not be that bad you know. =8) Maybe i think someone will mention her, maybe. =8) Planning to go out with Kristal tmrw, so well, sees how it goes then!